Against the Wind

Irish Blessing 

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in

The palm of His hand. 

I have been riding my bike quite a bit this summer. It has been a real blessing because I have enough time to go on a fairly long ride around the outlying roads of Gruver. I have watched the wheat change to amber brown as it sways in the wind. The corn has grown from knee high last week to waist high over the past week. 

I’m getting into a little better shape and have been enjoying my rides. I used to put off riding when the wind was blowing too much. Now, I try and consider it a challenge to ride even when it’s windy. It’s amazing how hard it can be to ride into even a slight breeze. I think I would rather ride uphill than into a strong wind. When its blowing hard enough the wind can almost stop me in mid ride. 

Leigh Anne has been to the emergency room three times in the past month. She’s been having stomach pains, and we can’t seem to figure out the problem. We’ve talked to numerous doctors, ran countless tests, and have friends praying and offering advice. To say the least Leigh Anne, Teague, and I are drained. 

I have felt sad, mad, confused, frustrated, and helpless. It’s like I’m riding into the wind and there is no relief. I find myself asking many questions. “Why is this happening to Leigh Anne? Why can’t the doctors find an answer?  Why does Teague hurt so much for Leigh Anne? Why don’t I hurt for Leigh Anne? Why am I not compassionate? What’s wrong with Leigh Anne? What’s wrong with me? 

I pray, but then there are times when I feel I should be praying and can’t. Why? Sometimes I find myself having to forcing myself to pray, and sometimes I just can’t at all.  Is that the wind? Is my faith weak? 

This past week the wind seems to be dying down a little. Leigh Anne hasn’t had the severe pain, but she still doesn’t feel good. I don’t know what is going to happen, or when we will find some answers. 

I do know Jesus loves Leigh Anne, and He is with her and our entire family.

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About dwinger

Former farmer, now college instructor
This entry was posted in Children, Listening for God, Prayer, Questions, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Against the Wind

  1. Kathy says:

    Davin,

    The ability to ask why is what makes us fully human — we have a rational soul. What you might explore is what makes your emotions different than Teague’s. My guess is that you are the head, the strength, the one who will be the quiet in the storm, while Teague provides the motherly emotional support.

    Have you read about the 4 temperaments? It’s a good read and really allows a person to see themselves from a very real perspective. It might help to delve into that little book.

    http://www.angelicum.net/html/four_temperaments.html

    Prayers coming your way…for all of you! You’re a great Dad — Happy Father’s Day!

    Kathy

  2. dwinger says:

    Kathy,

    Thanks for the link. I finally got around to reading some of it today.

    It’s always good to “know thyself”.

    davin

  3. Joven says:

    Thanks for the post. I share the same sentiments. I hope all of all will be able to realize that at the end what we need is our creator.

    Thanks

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